It’s a bright day. So far it’s been good. Kristy is still batshit crazy. But I think I’m just as nuts for going along with her. Strangely, I’m ok with this.
But something is missing. Coffee. I think I need coffee. I know I need coffee.
“Kristy, start looking for exits that have gas station of restaurants,” I said.
“Why? You have a full tank and we just left that rest stop.” Kristy was cute when she was confused.
“I need coffee.”
“Why do you need coffee?”
“Because I don’t have any.”
“Jeff, you sound like that Aflac commercial with Yogi Berra.”
“You know who Yogi Berra is. I’m impressed,” I say.
“I love baseball,” she said. “I don’t know what I’d do without it.”
“So where do your baseball loyalties lie?” I asked. “Yankees or Mets.”
“Oh god, neither,” she said. “I only lived in New York. But I’m from Davenport, Iowa. I am and always will be loyal to my Quad City River Bandits. They’re a minor league clue – a single A Cardinals affiliate.”
“No shit. I worked in the QC area for a few years. I went to a few Bandits games in my time there.” Kristy smiled. “You’re well on your way to being the perfect girl.” She blushed. “Last question – do you enjoy beer? And if so, what kind?”
“Beer is a wonderful thing. Dark beer. Stouts and porters are my favorites, though the Belgians produced some wonderful dark ales.”
This was incredible. No wonder I went along with her schemes. This was by far the closest thing to a perfect girl I’d ever come across.
“Shit, Kristy. Where were you when I couldn’t get a date in high school?”
“Odds are I was smoking weed in the bathroom. High school wsn’t exactly my thing. School in general wasn’t exactly my thing.”
“Me either. I went because I had to. I didn’t think I was going to graduate high school, but I did. Then I went to college because it’s what you do after high school.”
“Yeah, I split and got married and we all know how that turned out.”
“I think it turned out well.” I smirked a little.
“How do you figure?” Again she looked confused, with one eyebrow raised and her head cocked slightly to the right.
“Well, you’re on your way to San Francisco with a handsome, charming gentleman. Somehow, you’re neither in jail nor dead. And though you decided it would be a good idea to have sex in a very public place, you were, thankfully, not caught.”
“I didn’t see you objecting to the very public sex,” she said.
“I didn’t. I’m just pointing out that I am very thankful you were not caught, for it means that I was also not caught.”
“Well, I’m glad you’re thankful. I’ll make sure that during my next public sex adventure, you are once again not caught.”
“Thank you, Kristy. I appreciate that.”
“Well, you know. I’m the perfect girl. So even when I do imperfect things, I do them perfectly.”
